The day I've been waiting

I decided to study English Language and Literature because I wanted to combine my two loves -books and languages- and become a literary translator. Since 2001, I've been saying that one day, you will see something where my name will appear after the "translation" word. I had to wait long, but it finally arrived. Let's hope this will be the start, but even if it doesn't, at least I can now tick it off my bucket list.

You Don't Know What Love Is

You don’t know what love is
but you know how to raise it in me
like a dead girl winched up from a river. How to
wash off the sludge, the stench of our past.
How to start clean. This love even sits up
and blinks; amazed, she takes a few shaky steps.
Any day now she’ll try to eat solid food. She’ll want
to get into a fast car, one low to the ground, and drive
to some cinderblock shithole in the desert
where she can drink and get sick and then
dance in nothing but her underwear. You know
where she’s headed, you know she’ll wake up
with an ache she can’t locate and no money
and a terrible thirst. So to hell
with your warm hands sliding inside my shirt
and your tongue down my throat
like an oxygen tube. Cover me
in black plastic. Let the mourners through.

Kim Addonizio

On knitting & relaxing

Have you noticed the huge come-back of knitting the last years? Have you heard how relaxing and stress-free people say it is?

Well, I tried to learn. Stress-free and relaxing - are you kidding me? After 15 minutes, I wanted to scream, after 30 minutes I wanted to get the scissors and show the thread who the boss is and after 1 hour, I wanted to wrap the disappointing result around my throat and choke myself.

So, here is the truth: knitting is relaxing when you ALREADY know how to knit and it's no use if you need immediate solutions to get rid of your stress and nerves. (Sorry if I disappoint. I, too, had high hopes for this one).

Argh..

I'm telling you, if I get any angrier, my explosion will create a new universe (don't know yet if it will be a parallel one or if it will replace the one we are living in). But, you know me, I get angry for the little things*, like friends and betrayals.

I know, I know: the concept of “betrayal” differs from one another; there is no objectivity when it comes to personal relationships; blah, blah; but still! I think my two examples cannot be doubted.

No1: Gossiping behind my back, especially to the people they shouldn’t and especially when I explicitly asked them to keep their mouth shut.
No2: Hitting on my boyfriend – if you fell for him, come and tell me, we’ll talk it out and we’ll find a solution; even though some solutions might not keep the flame of our friendship burning (e.g. “Let the best one win”), at least you will never be accused of betrayal.

Anyway, it happened.
I thought about it for days.
I found one solution: be sincere and talk about it.
I did it.

Here is what I learnt:

1. You cannot have serious discussions with non-serious people.
2. It’s true: never argue with an idiot, they drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.
3. Don’t bother with revenge, don’t fall to their level. Let karma kick their asses.

* I admit that sometimes I do get angry for the little things, like losing at games, but I have learnt to handle it and hide it and I don’t mind it that much after all, even though some people who know me well believe the opposite and insist to warn the others every time we play.

The most beautiful story of the world

I have lots of bad habits (one day I'm gonna make a list of them), and here is the one that bothers me the most: I never learn my lesson. I mean, I do something, it does not work and the next time I do exactly the same. I can not even count the times I said to myself "I'll close my eyes just for 5 minutes, and then I'll get up and keep on", just to wake up 8 hours later. Or the times I delayed doing something believing that I have plenty of time, only to rush and stress out 1 hour before the expiration of the deadline. Or all the ideas that occured to me, didn't write them down immediately, forgot them and then spent hours pressing my memory without results.

This last one happened to me once again last night. I was in bed and somehow, this idea of a post I should write occured to me. It came all ready, nice and coherent and in english. Obviously, I didn't get up in order to write it down, I ignored the voice warning me that the next day I will have forgotten it and I drifted off to sleep. Sure enough, today I woke up and do not have the faintest idea of what I thought last night. No matter how hard I try, all I remember is just that I had thought of something good and nothing else, not even what it was about.

Ok, nevermind my silly ramblings about an unimportant idea for an unimportant post for an unimportant blog... Isn't it strange, though? That ideas, like golden dust, fly all around, dance in the air, touch us for a moment and then disappear, unless they find us available to let them root, grow and bloom?

What if the most beautiful story will never be written because it is already lost?