Vienna Calling

My personal Vienna Un-Guide, based on my two-legged (one in October, one in December) visit of the city. By the end of it, you will have seen almost all the main attractions (but you will have difficulties on remembering the names), you will have visited no museums, you will have taken no photos, probably you will have taken some kilos and you will have found a total of 5 euros in the streets.

DAY 1: Arrive late. Have your friend drive you around the main sights and up the hill to admire Vienna by night. Then, straight to the bars at Museum District, drink all the gin tonics you can handle and dance the night away. Finally, go to a chalet-looking tiny bar, full of drunk Austrians singing loudly austrian songs. Learn some lyrics and impress them.

DAY 2: Get a problem with your lenses, throw them away and eat pumpkin soup for lunch. Go to St Stephen's Cathedral. Get lost in the crowd at the Military Fair in front of the Hofburg Palace (organized due to the National Day). Pretend that you do not want to go to Prater and get on the Wheel (but do it anyway) and eat fried garlic bread. Later, follow your friend's flatmate to a club and spend the night drinking cocktails and gossiping.

DAY 3: Have brunch. Go to the Christmas Market at the Town Hall, eat half a candy apple and let the other half fall on a man in the tram. Then, go to the Christmas Market at Schonbrunn Palace, drink berry punch, listen to a gospel choir and freeze to the point of feeling your toes in pain. Back home, share a Chinese duck dish and watch the last James Bond movie dubbed in austrian.

DAY 4: Go for breakfast in a typical austrian student cafe and take a stroll at the Danube channel. Spend some time reading the mirrors of Carlsplatz metro station. Laugh with the Golden Cabbage and then, cross the street to the open market and buy some yummy turkish finger food. Watch Avatar on 3D munching surimi and for desert, after the cinema, eat strawberries dipped in chocolate (not as good as it sounds, better try the banana).